Situation Struggle

 

I have an issue that has been heavy on my heart, and I do not know what to do.

I have been going to God with it but it doesn't seem to get any lighter. I am doing my best not to control the situation but just release full control to God where it belongs to begin with but its hard.

I am feeling incredibly discouraged, and no matter how much I go to God, no matter how much I read his word, it just feels like it won't dissipate. 

What do you do? Yes, I remember Ecclesiastes 7:8, and I still feel it is applicable to my situation, but I am still struggling. I honestly do not know what to do. I also feel I can't talk to anyone about this because I feel I give enough energy to it with what I have given to God and what we focus on is what expands.

I am honestly feeling so forgotten by the Lord. That he is not hearing me. I also do not understand why he would allow something to happen to just take it away. It would have been better for it not to happen at all. I am just overrun with disappointment, and I am tired. I am tired of waiting, I am tired of things not happening, and I am tired of things happening to just be taken away.

I just feel incredibly discouraged and already cried a bit this morning.

I am trying my best to think positively, but even so, it has not been easy. I am practicing affirmations and trying to incorporate positive thoughts, but I am struggling. My heart is heavy and do not know what to do. 

Am I an awful person? Did I do something that God has placed me last on his list? Or maybe he has just forgotten about me. I feel unseen, not valued and dismissed.  Like I said to my therapist, I feel I have a voice but don't have a voice. Gosh, this is hard. I wish I had hope and been praying for a Miracle with this for such a long time.

I am trying so hard for this to not be a negative place but I am struggling right now.