A mix of things.

 

I usually like to post on a topic-specific post, but this is going to be a post on random things. 

At the end of 2024, I was diagnosed with PCOS/ Insulin resistance. I need to make so many modifications to my diet. It's hard, but I'm doing the best I can. So much I should avoid because it does not help my condition. I started drinking Matcha tea with Green tea in it, and it's helping me stay more alert, but the thing that's helping the most is Inositol.  Since taking it, I feel I have more energy and am less sleepy.

However, lately I have been feeling discouraged. I feel like the week is going so slowly and am longing for things I do not even know if will ever bring forth fruit. It's hard when you long for things and see no signs of fruit. I know God has his own timing, and like we are told, it's always perfect, but it's hard to wait. I know I think of 1 Thessalonians 5:1, that we are to give thanks in all circumstances because this is God's will for you. But it is challenging.

I have been trying to rely on God, go to him with my longings, with what's on my mind and heart, but it's not easy. My struggle in life is that I find it hard to have relationships in my life. And if I can't have a relationship with people, I can see how I can with God; I can't see. I do try to have a relationship with those I know, but sometimes I wonder if that's even a relationship?  I often hear that if you get your relationship with God right, the rest will fall into place. So I go back and forth with which I should focus on. Yes, as a believer, God should be the choice, but it's hard.

Connecting and Life update

 

My church started a series of different presentations on end-time prophecy. It ran from Oct 18 -Nov 1st. I got used to going to church multiple times a week, seeing people, having a drink (non-alcoholic), and there were light refreshments after. A total of 10 presentations.

Well now that its over there is this void. I wanna see people again. While I am an introvert and this will always be me. I still need to be with people. When I am home, I am isolated and only with limited people and my pup. I love her dearly though. 

What I am going to post is not about desperation; I am not desperate. I am just longing so much for that connection. Because its fueling my good feelings until it can all happen again.

Well, after the series ended, the last night was all about heaven, which stirred in me how I wish for heaven. We will always be together, not divided. We will see people daily and it be on good terms.

Photography!

 

Those that know me know that photography is one of my passions. I am a very creative person. I love all kinds of creativity, especially writing, design, and photography. But even interior design I also really like. I am just a creative person by nature, and I love to use colours. I see some designers who keep it neutral and don't use many colours, but I like to use vibrant colours.

Well I on one of my email accounts have my signature for photography. I volunteer at an animal shelter; see a previous blog post for more about my shelter work. However, I responded to the volunteer coordinator and he saw I do photography. I was asked if I could help out to take pictures of pets with Santa. So in November, I will be doing 4 sessions (4 days).

I am excited about that because for so long I wanted to help with photography and am finally getting the chance to do it. I tried reaching out to them numerous times and never had any feedback so I stopped trying to knock on the door. But I am excited to do this.

I also when I went with 4 ladies from the church to a restaurant I like to celebrate my birthday. One of them decided to carpool with us so I showed her my portfolio and she said I was really good. She asked for my links and I sent to her. She sent it to a couple of people, and one of the main people at my church, and when we went there last week for an event, she asked if I would take the photos. I agreed I would.

Your True Identity

 

I just finished Identity 2.0 this past week, and it's something I still need to work on. I have taken the class 2 times now. I will take it again to peel more layers of lies that I have been believing.

My true identity has been hard for me to accept because of the lies I believed for so long. However, I am committed to do what it takes to let my true identity.

Our identity isn't all the labels we pick up on this earth. You may be a mom but that is not your true identity. I know it's hard to separate. I struggle with this too but we need to look at God's word for our true Identity.

I want to soak up as much as I can, such as books, courses, and podcasts, to help shift and realize my true Identity. 

I usually tie in the Identity course and the RLA 2 course in a blog, but today I'm doing it separately. So, for the last class, here are my two takeaways that stood out.

• What God thinks of you should be what you think of yourself
This one is the truth, but it's hard because I think the voice of lies is much louder. It's hard because of our sinful nature; it is hard to just dismiss it, but I know that this is what God is asking of me. To claim and speak truth into my life and believe in what God says about me. When you think of it. If God created you, why wouldn't you want to consider what he says? I know because of sin, this can be tricky, though.

Birthday Reflections

I tend to use birthdays for reflection. Kinda like New Year's, I do it twice, on my birthday and during New Year's. I like to reflect on the year. 

This year we had an unexpected move. It was kinda a whim, but thinking about our prayer call this morning (oct 13), we were reminded that we don't get what we want, we get what we need.

This year, the move was super hard. I liked my surroundings, so many birds, squirrels, rabbits, raccoons, coyotes, possums, etc. I had an abundance of wildlife. Since moving, I have not felt as good. I don't see as much wildlife here, and it makes me sad. 

I do feel, though, that the move was necessary, but it has still been a bit hard to pull myself out of the hole. But what I am getting at with all this is we don't get what we want, we get what we need. With the move we were able to pay off debts, buy our current house, plus buy a new car. Its not brand spanking new but pretty close. I see this as a need, not a want.

With God, he doesn't always give us what we want, but what we need. And right now in this part of life this is what we need. I don't know what will happen in this chapter. I don't know what God has in store for us but this is where we are in life. Looking back, I reflect on the move a lot because it's what made up 2025 the most.

I was also diagnosed with PCOS at the end of 2024, and for those that don't know, it's very common in women, and I am seeing more and more women who have it. So what is it? It is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and there is different kinds. I have insulin resistance, which makes it hard to lose weight, and I have gained so much weight. I am trying to be mindful of what I eat and how much, but still I struggle to lose even a pound. I have faith God knows what's going on, and he will help me treat it. I need to listen to him and use him as my compass.

I feel natural would work better for me as I feel the difference with the supplements I take, but I've been on medication, and it's doing nothing for me. I still have so many symptoms and am trying natural options to help it. Will see how that will go. I have this for life now. But if I could manage it and get to a better or functional method, that's my goal.

This year has thrown me so many curveballs. I am really hoping this coming year will be a better year for me. Even years tend to be better than odd years. So here is hoping.

This past year of 43 I did have growth but not as much as I had in the previous year. Still, I have my eyes on growing and deepening my understanding of who God is. In my heart and soul, I want to experience him. It's not just about knowing a bunch of facts. I want to have experiences with him that shift and propel my life.

RLA & Identity week 5

 

RLA Week 5.
This week the topic was resilience, and boy, it's something I am learning that I want to be, but something I have found out is that be careful what you ask for. Cause with God, if you ask to be more resilient, he is going to give more hardships for you to overcome and develop that skill. 

Which one of the points was said and shared during class? 
• Resilience is essential, and we need to develop

This was not a main takeaway, but it was imperative to share. I think resilience is something that every human needs to learn and develop because we all face many kinds of trials. If you are human, you need to learn this, and even animals learn to be resilient. I have observed and witnessed countless dogs and cats that learned to be resilient despite all odds.

The other point that stuck with me was this one.

• Being resilient when hard things happen, you can adapt and use that as a stepping stone to something greater.

Again animals have shown me true resilience, but humans too. You could play victim or you could use what happened to launch you to something greater. I don't know about you but I  want to be someone that uses it a stepping stone to something greater. Even if the obstacle is challenging. I know I need it to develop and grow resiliency.  

 
Identity Week 5
I only have one more week of Identity, and then I will be done with the course. I can't believe how fast this has passed. The end will be next week, and then I will be done with Identity 2.0. However, I still feel there are so many layers I need to address and reveal. There are so many lies I know I believed in and will take time to dismantle. 

This round, besides doing the questions we need to do with our accountability partner, I have just been focusing on affirmations. I know I can do them on my own too but doing them with a live class gives me a sense of accountability. I've been declaring who I am and the enemy is not liking that.

This week, the main takeaway that I had was 
• The only way to stand in your true identity is to begin

We keep wondering oh maybe in a week I can stand in my Identity, at the end of the course, etc. But the only way we can really stand in our true identity is to start. Start claiming and declaring what God says about you. Step into your identity, begin. This really was a reminder to stop procrastinating and to just start.

The other takeaway that kinda sank in more but in a way was more of a reminder was
• You were created for impact. You were created to bring heaven to earth. (kingdom principles)

This one was more of a reminder. God says for us to bring heaven to earth. Or as the prayer says on earth like heaven. So we are to bring heaven to earth.

Activate- Anointed 2025

 

I just finished my company's conference. I was so sad that I wouldn't be able to make it this year, but I was able to because it was all digital. After moving, and for particular reasons, I would not be able to fly to where it was being held. But because it was digital, I didn't have to miss it.

I love my company and the people in it. I sometimes grow in isolation, and this may be why I am not growing leaps and bounds as other people have. Side note and totally unrelated to the theme of this post. I have a tough time making friends and also relationships in general. I have always been someone who needs to observe someone before I can befriend them. So it takes me much longer than the average person.

This year, the conference is always called Activate, but the theme changes. The year I joined Kingdom Alliance, the conference was revival, last year it was dominion, and this year it was anointed. For the first time done digitally a certain way it was a great job. I wanted more but I will go back and listen to the recordings to absorb more.

I really want God to move and work through me and I know a big part is about sharing about this fantastic company. Because of KA, I am a published author, I am back to reviving my blog and using my voice more. Which leads me to what I heard numerous times during the conference and I feel God was speaking to me about what kept repeating was its time to use my voice.

I have always preferred the written form of communication. I still like to get things in written so I can reflect back. I have a hard time retaining things when its just by hearing. I remember more when it's written down, or if I have it written somewhere, I can always go back to read it. This is me, how I learn and retain things.

I feel like God is really nudging me, maybe even poking a little to stop staying silent. While written is my fave form of communication, he wants to use my vocal voice more, too. So to stop hiding in the shadows and get out there. There is also a nudge to stop procrastinating and get started on a project that has been on my mind and that I've been wanting to do since last year. So it's been over a year and I still have not gotten started. It's time to start.

Conditions will never be perfect. I don't need to be perfect to start, but I do need to start to get to perfect (although perfection will never be on this planet). So two things I got from the conference that were not necessarily what they presented, but one, it's time to use my voice, and two, it's time to start on my project.

Classes Week 3

 

RLA 2 week 3
These classes I am taking work well together. It's so holy spirit-led. This week it was on seasons and sanctification.  Sanctification is used to describe the process of being set apart and allowing God to help us become the vessel that can be used by the holy spirit.

Sanctification is not a pleasant process, but it is absolutely necessary for us to reach the next level of how God wants to speak through or use us. You know, I used to hate not being able to fit in, not feel I mesh anywhere, but it's no longer because I don't mesh, but it's because I am set apart.

God purposely had me set apart from this world. I admit it gets lonely. I wish I had people to walk alongside me in this journey of life, but I know that God has a purpose for everything. 

Since I gave the definition of Sanctification. I will provide you with two additional takeaways that stood out to me, in addition to the meaning of sanctification. 

The following refers to sanctification, and it really stands out to me. 
• This is always about your willingness to submit to the will of God to leave the things behind that have held you captive

This other takeaway really makes me think. We often don't like the pruning of the sanctification process, but when I heard this, it was light right. It may have been a barrier all along.
• Most of the stuff that is pruned are barriers that stand in the way between us and him.

While this was not part of the course, it reminds me also of a quote or thought I saw. That God does nto remove without the thought of replacing. Sometimes we get all bent about something that was removed but the above statement could describe why that pruning took place. God wants us, and he wants a relationship with us. However, if it's a barrier, then he sometimes prunes it away. Pruning is God's way of moulding us and growing us. If those things were to stay, we would never reach.

Identity week 3
This week I learned that we make an average of 3500 decisions a day. That was one of my takeaways, and a trail off that which was a takeaway as well is how many of those decisions do we include God in. 

Yes, it's so easy to go on autopilot, wear these shoes, have this for breakfast, go this way to where you are going, but what if God wants to be involved even in a simple task, such as what you will eat for breakfast? God doesn't want to be asked occasionally; He wants to help guide us all the time. 

The other thought that stood out to me from this class was
• God speaks to us in ways that make sense to us. He won't speak to us in a way that talks to someone else.

We need to be open and more trusting of God. For example, for some people God talks to them in the shower, for others he talks to other people, etc. We need to have faith and rest assured that God will talk to us in ways we will understand. This stood out because people often tell me that God speaks through others, but what others have said to me has discouraged me. Not answered my questions, etc. It also has made me doubt that God was even for me.

God knows us so well, he created us, he knows how to communicate with us in ways we will understand. Never doubt God knows how to reach us. We just need to be open to it.

I love growing, I love learning, and yes, something can be frustrating because I do not understand, but 99% of the time growing is my fave thing to do.

God is so good, and I look forward to seeing what will happen in a year. All God, his timing, his way. I just need to take the steps that he guides me too. 

Identity 2.0 homework

 

I am sharing here because I think out of Identity 2.0 course I am taking right now this is my fave exersize. 

We are to find 3 top lies, flip the script, and find supporting truths of the opposite from the Bible.

I share here because this is part of me being or showing for accountability in my growth journey. (even though some weeks anxiety/depression win) 

My current lies I am invisible, I am not important, I am not valuable, God loves others but not me. 

Lie 1- I am invisible- God's truth Genesis 16:13 NIV You are the God who sees me,' for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'" 

Lie 2- I am not important - God's truth Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV) "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." 

God didn’t make a mistake when He made you. He was intentional, personal, and careful. You are fearfully and wonderfully made — that means you matter 

Lie 3- I am not valuable- God's truth Luke 15:4-7 (The Parable of the Lost Sheep)"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?" 

God values every individual—so much that He leaves the 99 to seek just one. You are that one when you feel lost or forgotten.

 Lie 4- God loves others but not me- God's truth- Galatians 2:20 (NIV)"The Son of God… loved me and gave himself for me." 

Paul makes it personal: "He loved me." You can insert your name here. Jesus didn’t die for an idea—He died for individual people, including you. 

Affirmations 

 • I am not invisible, God sees me and knows me 

• I am important to my creator he knit me together in my mother's womb 

• I am valuable to God and when I was lost he came after me. 

• God loves me, he died for me and my sins

Love is but for some.

 

You know this is something that I wanted since I was 5 years old. I wanted to be married, I wanted a husband, but life has been showing me otherwise.

Can I be straight with you? Marriage can be an idol, a husband can become an idol, and love can become an idol. And this is what it was for me. 

God has been showing me things lately, and I think this is why, at age 44, I haven't even been on a date with a man. I have never even spent more time with a man besides my dad.

I think its because I gave it priority, and put it above God. I see this now, with all the work I do on myself to grow and expand, and peel back layers. 

It's really hard seeing everyone you know finding love, and you can't even get a man. But, as I said, since I was young, I've been looking and looking for love, and giving it priority, and it never flourished in my life.

Honestly, even writing this out is incredibly hard to admit, but I must if I want to heal. 

Church and people don't make it any easier; they add to the pressure of finding someone. Asking questions like Are you married yet, etc. Church influence and societal values prioritize marriage above all. Even car insurance is cheaper if you're married vs single.

Even now, people view single women as less than women. A woman is to get a husband, and then she is worth something. 

I also do not believe in the lie that we need someone to complete us. Even within the Christian faith, I see posts people post about someone being their other half. And that they would be incomplete without them. I truly believe this is a social pressure and feel its also a lie that has been fed to us for far too long.

Do we need to be completed, yes, but by Christ. A man or a woman does not complete us. A partner should enhance our life, not look to make it complete. And it hurts me to hear people say that about their children. Children are a blessing but they don't complete you.

Yes, I do not see the typical faith-based person's perspective. Does God honour marriage? Yes, but it's not like there is a person out there for everyone. This is something Disney and romance movies teach us at a very young age. Some of us never find someone. Plenty of people who are single, especially religious figures.

I got tired of the broken record hearing people say. Oh you'll find someone. Trying to stay optimistic, but 10 years down the road, and have not even had a conversation. 

A husband/wife is a gift some selected people get to have for others this is not part of their experience. It's romantic to think there is someone out there for everyone, but it's not the actual reality. 

Radiant Leadership Academy & Identity 2.0

 

God is so good in the learning and the growing, and it's not all easy work. Some of it can be quite a struggle, but this is how we grow. If everything were easy, we wouldn't ever grow.

So I will back things up. Kingdom Alliance has various signature courses, but the one I will write about, I am on my second pass at it. The thing I love about being able to retake classes is that we get to peel back layers, and we hear and learn new things every time.

RLA stands for Radiant Leadership Academy. It is one of the signature courses that they offer. Many people have jumped in and done RLA alone because that's where so many people were having chains broken and fall to the ground.

Here is a description of the course. 
Radiant Leadership Academy – LEVEL II is a 9-week advanced course designed to elevate your leadership and create a greater Kingdom impact. This next-level program offers high accountability and a deeper dive into leadership development. Whether you've taken RLA multiple times, just once, or not at all this course will strengthen your leadership skills and prepare you for even greater influence. Register now to level up your leadership!

I am behind on posting, but I will make a post for each week and what I got out of it.  To be completely honest, I am not going to be posting all my takeaways here. I will select a few. If I give you everything, then it defeats the purpose of taking the course. I will share 3 or 4 significant takeaways.

This week, our topic was surrender. Yes, we started with a really challenging topic first thing, and why not? Surrender is not an easy topic for most people because we feel like we are giving up. But with God and how he works, everything is his timing. He is not necessarily denying what we want, but there is a time and place, and sometimes we are not ready to receive what it is we are after. But this is another topic for another post. 

The one point in the lesson that stood out to me so much was 

• To fully surrender to God, we must reach a level of acceptance
To truly surrender, we need to reach some level of acceptance.Althought we may not like it or agree with it, that is the situation. It's not easy when we are dealing with something, and so often we want control, but to give it to God, we need to say Hey, I don't like that this person died, or this person is talking bad about me, but God, I give it to you and you handle it. 

Another point that was made that really stood out to me is

• No level of emotion can change a situation
Who else has thought that if I put all my emotion into it, things will change? Does pouring all your emotions bring someone back from the dead? Of course not. We live in a fallen world. This really hit me. It matters not how much emotion you put into it; that does not change the situation.

The final point I will share that really stood out to me is

• Trusting God requires us to praise God in all circumstances.
This one is super tough for me. When you get an illness, or someone dies, or something terrible happens, it's hard to just go into praise mode. But this is what God wants from us. It reminds me of the verse, and it fits perfectly with this thought. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

While all these points stood out (plus I have way more than shared). I think it's the final one that I really feel I hear God speaking to me. Give thanks to learn to give thanks no matter what. Lost a job, give praise, lost a friend, give praise, marriage fails, give praise. I know it sounds so hard to do, but I really feel like God uses everything for his glory, no matter what has happened. But if you're sitting wondering how to do this. You are not alone. I am still learning this, too. 

Identity 2.0 
Unfortunately, for this past week, I didn't have any takeaways, but I will say one of the homework assignments was to take the top three labels you give, such as worthless, turn them into a positive and find the corresponding Bible verse for it.

Here is the description of what the course is about, so you can understand what this course is rooted in.

The Identity 2.0 Program is a 6-week transformative course designed to expose and counteract the subtle tactics used to undermine your identity in Christ. This program dives deep into understanding how doubt, deception, and distraction can distort your view of God, yourself, and your purpose. 

I will hopefully, in the next post, share my top 3 lies and then the corresponding Bible verse that reflects what God says I am. 

Vegan Journey

 

My vegan journey is the subject of a story that can be read in the following post. This is not about my vegan journey itself, but rather a lifelong process.

Those who know me are aware that I was involved in activism from 2014 to 2018, possibly until 2019. I lost track of the exact date I stopped. 

Well, I might not be in the streets bringing awareness to animals bound for slaughter, doing an event where we try to get the public to be aware and engage, but you can't take this out of me. 

Can I say something? The vegan community disappointed me. Unless you are out there doing things all the time, people don't care about you. When I slowly stopped in 2017, no one took the time to ask me if I was okay, what was going on and this slowly dissolved.

It's hard because this is supposed to be a community that claims to speak for all beings. I saw a side I was not expecting. People keep saying ahisma, yet the lack of human caring made me see a different side. I am not naming names, but it was a significant disappointment. 

It felt like a gathering of similarly minded, but a disconnect to humans. I saw people shouting names at people and thought, My goodness, we are here to make people aware, not shout names at people. This was not what I signed up for. How are we to open the eyes when we are shouting insults?

I am not saying all this to also do the same; I am speaking what I saw and my experience to address what is broken in a community. 

You have no idea in May 2014 when I was standing bearing witness to pigs how much empowerment I felt standing up for something I believe in. It meant so much. But there are lots that are broken within a community.

I may not be attending vigils, demonstrations, and events related to animal rights activism, but this does not mean I am no longer an activist. I am just changing how it is done. 

I still feel that the animals are why I am here. I still think it's part of my mission, I feel its the how that is changing. Everything I did in between those years, I think I was meant to. It was part of my mission. Now the how is shifting. 

God is shifting this, and I am now in a different location, for whatever purpose and mission he has for me here. All the activism I did from 2014 till I could no longer do I was meant to do. It fueled me. It gave me purpose but I believe I am on the journey to something deeper that God has for me.

I will always stand for animal rights. I chose to live a vegan lifestyle, but those days of protests for me are done. However, I will find other ways to speak up for animals.

Volunteer Work.

 

So this blog post is not really related to religion, or my faith in a way. It's not growing spiritually focused on a course or a book, but being what God calls us to do.

My dad died in 2022, and since July of that year, I have been doing volunteer work at my local shelter. This has filled me in so many ways.

For the longest time and for the majority of my volunteering, I was there for the feeding shift. So I would let the dogs go out to take care of nature calls; sometimes they would play a bit. I usually leave feeding for the very last thing. I'd wash bowls and also fill up their water, or change their water. There was a lot. I was consistent every week, except for a few times.

It's been an honour and continues to be to serve God's critters. It has brought me so much immense joy to see so many dogs find homes, to see the growth so many dogs have had. Some are incredibly scared to come out of their shell.

These dogs have stamped my heart with their paw print. I started my volunteer work because I feel its my call to help them. At a very young age, I used to see commercials of humane shelters, and it really spoke to me so much. I have had a deep love for dogs, and I must say, too, for cats as well, but having dogs all my life, I have a deep bond with this species. 

When I was young, I did not know what it looked like and had experiences with dogs roaming the streets back in the native country of my parents (Brazil). It spoke to me at such a young age, I said something needs to be done. 

When I was working with someone to help me find work the lady heard a commericial talking with an organization that helps cats and dogs. They are a Canadian organization, and I got connected with them. I took a chance and messaged because I saw on their website that they were looking for a graphic designer, and that was my background, and I also did photography. So the founder invited me to a spay and neuter clinic they were doing in Mexico. From Jan 2012- Nov 2019, I did massive spay and neuter clinics.

However, I felt the urge to stop counting down and instead help local animals in need as well. Love knows no boundaries and animals everywhere need a helping hand. But it's been so good to help local dogs too. This is the highlight of my week. Its so good to spend so much time getting to know so many dogs. The photo in this post is just some of the dogs I got to meet and got to know.

I truly feel that this is a big pull to why I am here. Why I am on earth and God created me to be born and live on earth. Although the animals do not belong to us. None of what we have belongs to us. God just lets us having it for a while.

I would love to have a part time work with animals or doing more for them but right now I am so blessed to get to for the past 3 years see so many dogs. See so many transformations. And most importantly see them find their forever homes after being let down by humans.